week 3 - DETAILS (11-17 Jan)
Everyday, when driving back home from 8-5 work sometimes 8-8.. I have no energy left. Zero. I'm beat, flat, worn out. But, been stuck in the car, waiting for the traffic to do good to this knackered mommy, somehow the thought of you always come out : the details of your cheeky smile that widened just enough for me to see your gap teeth and that cute button nose. The details of your giggles and laughter and that small needy voice. The details of you.
The details always made my rest of the day (or night). Pump me up. Lift me higher.
_________________
xx
Ummeh
Then
Deep down in my heart, I somehow or rather knew that I was carrying a baby boy. It’s because I was diagnosed with Diabetes Type II during my early pregnancy. I told myself, with Allah’s will, if I am able to continue with the pregnancy, the baby must be a boy. Strong and determined to get through this minor hurdles in life. We will do it together, you and me. I watched my diet and you continue to grow healthy in my warm womb. The day came and we welcome you into this world with open hearts. You complete the family. You made everybody happy. Your sisters were crying when they first laid their eyes on you. Such a beautiful gift. Everybody were so excited. Then we brought you home and my full journey on breastfeeding continues. Oh boy, I wished it was easy and simple as ABC. But I was taken aback. What am I doing wrong? Why were you never satisfied with the milk you’ve just had? Why are you still crying? Is my boob not doing her job? Is the milk not enough? At times, I wanted to scream so loud so that everyone in the house know what I’m going through at that moment. I was not happy. I wasn’t sleeping well, I had to wake up every hour and feed you and yet still you cried. He is hungry. It must be my milk. Yes, my milk is not enough for you. I forced Babah to go to the nearest store and buy me a formula. We need to do this. He is hungry, I can tell. But luckily, the formula brand that I was looking for was always not in store. Was it a sign?
I gave up. Despite the cracking and sore bleeding nipple, I continued on. I told myself, I am capable of feeding my son and insyallah, I will get through this. I try to set small goals. The first was to continue to nurse you up to two months. Then it became to six and then to a year. Same goes to my milk stock, at first it was only a few bottles, than it started to build up until there’s not enough room to store some of the pumped breastmilk, that I have to donate some of it.
Now we have already passed that one year stage and still, each time I come home from work, the first thing you always ask me is to unbutton my shirt. You will cheekily grinned and open your mouth to feed. The special bond that only you and I share. The serene feeling and the contentment I feel gazing at you. We have made it darling. I have never thought I could do this. All the sacrifices I made has been worthwhile. I would not want it any other way. You made me feel whole. And I get to show you this picture of us during that special bond, this is you and me in our own sweet world.
Everyone keep telling me that her prominent features are her eyes. Big bold eyes, that is; and I love them. Different and unique. This girl is my middle child - sweet and lovable. She keeps saying that she is "little and tiny". Sensitive at heart.
That is the details of my Nur Sarah, my Strength.
Bits of tiny water color dots splashes onto your face. That expression - sometime pretty serious and sometime a wee bit of smile radiates when you are busy painting - melt my heart. Oh I can just stare, and stare at your sweet little face.
If I am to point out only a small part of you, there are actually two:
Sweet-holy-mole(y)s. Tahi-lalat-manis!
One on each cheek, they became visible when you were 6, I think. I remember you were so worried about them asking me if you could rub them off with erasers all because they made you feel embarrassed. Lol! But over the years you got over it. You've come to appreciate them instead. Because they, distinguished your look. There is a particular sweetness of them both, emerging side by side, parallel like that.
Special, right?
Now, forget the erasers, embrace yourself and go conquer the world, my boy.
Sweet-holy-mole(y)s!
never get bored
memorizing the planes, curves and contours
of your pure & innocent face
There was a glorious sun light entering my mom’s house the
moment I opened the door, ready to start a new day. I remember being astonished
by the gorgeous light illuminate a little corner of the house formulating every
detail I saw to look so clear, vibrant, lively and bold. Without wasting my
time, I quickly grabbed my camera before the light chose to fade away. My son
was there, just had his morning bath. I glimpsed at his bare feet, and I knew instantly
I wanted to document him with those feet in focus and composed other elements to
complement the scene. So, here it is; my image for week 3 – details of my son’s
feet together with those embracing shadows, a touch of texture,
line, and stunning sun light; all in one photograph.
Soalan "lelaki ke perempuan" / "boy or girl" dah biasa mommy dengar.Kadang-kadang rasa nak tanya balik "which part do you find him as a girl?" just curious to know.Take it easy,I'm fine with that awkward question by the way :) I always told him,you are a God's beautiful creatures ! Remember that.
"awak tahu tak? awak ni cantik"
"mata cantik"
"bulu mata panjang melentik"
"hidung comel"
"pipi pun comel"
"tiny teeth pun comel"
"bibir pun cantik"
"senyum pun menawan"
(senyum menawan tu 'trademark' dia)
"kulit je hitam sikit"
(mommy mengusik dia)
"sebab Asyraff ikut muka mommy..."
(sekarang dah pandai jawab macam ni)
aawww...you are so sweet son !
Khalish and Lego are synonymous. Each piece, to him, depicts 1001 stories. Imagine those pieces stacked together. No wonder he has always been meticulous about the arrangement.
Thank you for the one million stories, Young Master Builder. Your daddy and I will never be tired of the peculiar characters and the distorted plots. May the meticulousness bring you, as well as the people around you, more adventures.
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